If there's something which I can do, I will still wanna quit this job. Sometimes, i feel like a hypocrite. I don't really like the errands they ask me to do, but I'll still have to, while putting up a happy face...sometimes, I feel that I'm beginning to lose myself. I don't understand myself - what do I really want - stay or leave?

I thought things would get better after going out for lunches together this week when the boss' not around...but I was quite wrong. I still can't get over some things.

Today's supposed to be a really happy day for me. DD and I are celebrating our 28th month anniversary-cum-Valentine's Day in advance, and I was in a happy mood.

But AC's bad mood and anger passed to me. It wasn't me who made him angry or things like that. Maybe he just wanted to vent his anger, or that I said the wrong words - I shouldn't be talking or asking about 'something which he may think is stupid'. I feel like an idiot today from lunchtime onwards.

Sometimes I like him - he shares his knowledge with me - knowing that I know nuts about certain issues. But sometimes, I feel stupid in front of him. Today's worse, I can't 'click' with him at all.

I admit - I'm critical about the impression I give to people - especially my seniors, and how they think of me.

I think I'll be embarrassed to see him on Monday.